The problem is more that most of my good friends are living my dream (stay-at-home-motherhood), and have been for about five years now.
 |
| Yep, I know. Still want it. |
The problem is that I don't have any goals left besides motherhood:
Get an interesting advanced degree: √
Live in or near a couple great cities: Chicago (outside), Atlanta, NYC, √
Travel to interesting places: A dozen or so countries in Europe, one in the Middle East, and 38/50 states, before running out of money? √
Get published in an academic journal: √
Get published in not-an-academic-journal: √
Present a paper at a conference: √
Work for a(n arch)diocese: √
Work in publishing: √
So! I need to develop some life goals. No ideas how to do this.
I've got some small goals:
Shape up finances to a not-so-terrible place (depressing)
Get apartment to a not-so-messy place (depressing)
Get less terrible at cooking (depressing, and more importantly neverending)
Read voraciously (great fun, but there's no threshold to achieve here)
Maybe do some Shakespeare-related thing for his quadricentenary this year?
 |
| I have, in fact, NEVER regretted attending a Shakespeare play. |
None of these provide overall motivation, though. None of them help me combat the feeling that I'm just filling time until my "real" life starts.
This would be so much easier if I had any career ambition whatsoever!
Anyway, suggestions are welcome, both for new goals themselves and for how to brainstorm/find new goals.
Until next time!
Hang in there, Claire. One way of looking at it could be that the one last check on your list is right around the corner!
ReplyDeleteI do tend to be ridiculously optimistic about everything, but from a totally realist point of view, I think one of the best ways to combat the feeling of frustration/confusion/doubt about our future (which comes even to those of us fully aware that we are living our dreams) is to create. Art doesn't have a definable end but many small goals, and learning to become a better artist is a lifelong process. It allows us to better the world, even if only through bettering ourselves. (Search for Neil Gaiman's "Make Good Art" speech on YouTube if you haven't seen it yet. It's incredible.)
There was a big debate/nasty fight among certain members of the Catholic world last year over some of the ways the Church speaks about vocations. Interestingly, when the Catechism talks about priesthood, religious life, & marriage, it uses the term "state of life." The word "vocation" always refers to our universal vocation to love God and love others, and our state of life simply allows us to carry that vocation out. You are already living that vocation beautifully, Claire, as I know from the love of God that you show me so often. And, like creating art, it is a mission that we can always grow in and perfect.
However...I'm seriously impressed at the list of things you have accomplished. From this side of the motherhood fence, I'm trying to suppress the thoughts of "Boy, do I wish I could travel around the world..."
Also, I want to do something Shakespeare-y with you. :)