Note: Though I rarely break the fourth wall (save in the combox), I apologize for the interruption in my posts. Moving halfway across the country will do that to a gal. I hope to be more faithful to writing here during my graduate studies.)
I have always been a very adaptable person; I acclimate to new situations without much difficulty. But I have noticed that in recent years, my transitions have become more difficult.
Perhaps it's because more of my heart remains with the community I've left behind. Certainly I've made more and deeper friends over the years, whom I dearly miss. But I was pretty darn connected to my high school friends when I started college, and that didn't stop me from meeting a zillion exciting people and diving headfirst into college life.
No, no more perhaps. I know exactly what is going on. As I have grown closer to Our Lord, and He has shown me more both of Himself and of myself, it has become more difficult to give myself to others precisely because there's so much more of me to give. How can I communicate to another the incredible depth of my being?
Consider this stark contrast: Here I am awkwardly making smalltalk with priests and seminarians I hardly know, largely in order to pleasantly pass the time. But just a few days ago, I roamed this beautiful campus in near-silence with a friend so dear to my heart that words were unnecessary to express the depth of God's glory that we were experiencing in tandem.
Transitions are hard because they're lonely. I am lonely because I know myself, and long to give of myself on a deep level. I know myself because Our Lord has revealed myself to me. I know Our Lord only through His gracious mercy, and as that knowledge increases, so does each transition become more of a challenge.
So the solution to a tough transition would seem to be: Remain centered upon Our Lord. Everything else may change and pass away, but He alone will remain.
I love You, O Lord, my strength.
2 days ago