Tuesday, August 4, 2009

On Love and Consolation

I imagine that most of us have a small group of people who reside extremely close to our hearts completely undeservedly. Though one is occasionally blessed enough to develop a lifelong friendship with one of these people, usually the people in question are ones we don't know well, or haven't known long - the sort of relationships about which the sheer volume of love we feel is quite disproportionate to the knowledge of persons exchanged.

Yesterday, just before Mass, I was thinking about and praying for just one such friend. As my mind wandered gratefully over small affirmations by which he had gifted to me the love of God - objectively they were small, but to my heart they were overwhelming - I was struck by a powerful realization.

Back story: Months ago, I was filled with desire for greater closeness with another of this kind of friend, and especially for the desire to pour myself out more fully for his sake (as he clearly needed more graces than simple prayer and fasting could provide). Suddenly, an epiphany: the very emotion I was feeling, this fierce desire to lay down everything I had for the good of this other, was but a shadow of the love Our Lord has for me, of His great desire to bring me, undeserving, to sanctity by virtue of His sacrifice. Oh.

Yesterday's realization is almost part two: the great joy I feel at this friend's smallest gesture of love is akin to how Our Lord feels when I make an act of love for Him, be it as simple as not eating that piece of chocolate, rearranging my plans to be where my family needs me, or stopping by the adoration chapel for an unnecessary visit just 'cuz I was in the neighborhood.

I find it hard to think about that - about the fact that Our Lord receives consolation from my actions, feels joy from my love.

For the forgetfulness and ingratitude of men, We will console You, O Lord...
For the sacrileges that profane Your Sacrament of Love,
We will console You, O Lord...
For our own unfaithfulness, We will console You, O Lord...

UPDATE: I nearly forgot to link to this post by the Crescat, which muses on the other side of this same issue.

1 comment:

  1. I don't think you can make an "unnecessary visit" to the adoration chapel. That looks like a neat prayer to the Sacred Heart.

    Also From Gemma:
    ] fvvvvvvdedf c cxz lllllllllllllllllllll


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