Unless you're in those circles that are drawn together precisely because of these issues, anything related to homosexuality is pretty much taboo. If it NEEDS to be mentioned in a given setting for some reason, it might be glossed over briefly before being left behind in relief.
Why is it that so many of us are so terrified to be perceived as condoning another's public sin? One dear friend always used to say that he was a much worse person than all these who were publicly living in sin, in reference to his pride and judgement and other interior vices, for which he was so much more responsible. The epic poet Dante would agree. He placed fornicators (including, I would presume, sodomites) in the ninth circle of his hell, the least painful part. Their sin is so much lesser...
Heck, I would say that even St Augustine would agree. "Love, and do as thou wilt," was how he summed up the law. In that order - love first, and /then/ do other things, because when one loves first, everything else will fall in line.
But we're afraid. I think part of it is that those of us who are theologically orthodox have been so scarred by our more progressive brethren that we're offended to be clumped in with them, afraid to come across as like them. In an effort to avoid compromising ourselves, we project our prejudices and make our voices known. And sometimes it is important for our voices to be heard.
But we can't be in ministry mode all the time. Sometimes, we have to just accept people where they're at. Is a man living with another man really all that different from a man living with another woman? If someone is living in some other sinful way, do we feel morally obligated to make it known that their sin discomforts us? Usually not.
Another college friend was discussing with me tonight two mutual friends who have quite flamboyantly come out of the closet since their graduations a few years ago, and how these men just felt so alone, so shamed into themselves on our conservative Catholic campus. Sure, it's great that most people around you are striving for holiness with all their being, but how can you strive for holiness if you're barred from ministry positions because an adult you trusted spilled the beans that you struggle with homosexual temptations? That's a far cry from blatantly living a lifestyle at odds with Church teaching, and yet it's often treated the same way. Who can blame people with such temptations for holding them in and then exploding once they were allowed to let out that forbidden breath?
In the end, we straight folks fall into the same pernicious trap that ensnares anyone who's faced homosexuality in their own life: placing so much emphasis on the homosexuality that it overshadows absolutely everything else about a person. It's uncomfortable, but you can live in harmony with those with whom you disagree on important things. Get used to it and get over it.
That nun. She really does have it right. I respect her a lot, and I hope to one day achieve a balance like what she has. May the Lord bless her, her cousin, all people anywhere on the LGBTQA continuum who feel rejected by Holy Mother Church, and all those in the Church (myself included) who reject them, from time to time).
None of us dare to even hope for heaven save for God's great mercy. And if it's mercy that brings up both the biggest sinners and the dearest saints, who are we to judge who neeeds His mercy/
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